EOOW First Go

12 months ago I had never heard of or experienced gravity. I had yet to ever feel the wind blow or see two objects contact each other in an elastic collision. The concept of grass and its irreplaceable smell when cut on a Saturday morning were foreign to me. I had no idea that you could build a fence around a diamond and people would come. The sound of a wooden club on a white ball with red lacing had never echoed for my attention. What is lacing made of anyway?

There are strikes and balls, outs and walks, foul and fair, runs and innings, visitors and home. This could be interesting. But you're telling me that I do a dance on this little dirt mound, come close to kneeing myself in the forehead, then launch a ball at my friend while trying to dislocate my shoulder? Whose idea is this?

Now wait. I have to condition my body, iron my uniform, and remain obedient in the face of a yelling coach? I've heard that this takes a dedicated commitment of more than 12 hours most everyday. One has to perfect pointing the leading toe on a good stride, unendingly practice the wrist snap for an effective slider, and follow through into the "ready position" because sometimes the ball comes right back at your face faster than you sent it. But comon' do I seriously need to know what a balk is or why I have to check Kenny Lofton's lead-off twice at first base to the menacing boos of the locals? Why do I have to spend hours everyday learning that Josh Hamilton hits .301 or that Jose Canseco can't connect with a fastball low and inside? Once more, my opponent, team, team owners, announcers, and 32,491 people will be waiting in the stands for me to quit flopping my rosin bag and deliver the 3-2 pitch with 2 outs? Well...batter up.

I have to tell you that I've never had an experience of such intense preparation, nerves, excitement, and focus as I had today on my first 4 hour shift as Engineer Officer of the Watch. I have been on a high ever since 12 hours ago when I was about to relieve the watch. The procedures, the orders, the announcements, the briefs, the anticipation, the electric, mechanical, chemical, and of course reactor systems of which I was in charge. It all adds up to a short period of time that was my first real indication of whether or not I can "pitch in the big leagues."

I wish I could talk about all my successes, surprises and imperfections on the watch that led to hours-worth of dramatic tales, but they 1) aren't declassified experiences and 2) not quite as funny if you don't know the operations or the culture and expectations of the Navy Nuclear Power community. In short, today was filled with moments of sharpness, inexperience, and everything in between. I did get a passing grade.

If I can provide any insight into where I am right now in my training I want to let you know where I stand personally. Today was a day of reaffirmation in many ways. It was the first day I got to see how 9 months of the most difficult, humbling, and new training was transforming into actual ability. I've had my serious doubts about whether or not I will have what it takes to make it through the Power School, Prototype, and out into the submarine fleet. Some days are discouraging. Others are very discouraging. But every once in a while I'll find myself standing right next to a personal milestone, an achievement that is it's own nod of encouragement that is so rare in this community. I am still on my way.

The greatest reaffirmation of the day came in the form of text and voice messages prior to my shift. There were prayers and pride, wishes of good luck, encouragement, confidence, lots of love, and of course a plead for no mushroom clouds! I want you all to know how very important and irreplaceable you are in my life. It really does tear me up inside to be unable to see you on a regular basis. But I hope you all know that it is my relationship to you that makes living a productive, healthy, and happy life possible. With all my pride, prayers, best wishes, and love...Thank you.